Forgive or Revenge

Nearly every Black woman born before 1995 recognizes this image.  If you haven't it's an infamous scene from Waiting to Exhale where Angela Basset's character goes ape s**t on her cheating husband's luxury car (Was it a Mercedes or BMW?  I can't remember).  Basically she finds out that he's leaving her for another woman, a White woman.  This is the ultimate slap in the face for this woman seeing how she helped her husband reach his success and he's leaving her for a woman who probably wouldn't have gave a damn about him if he didn't have so many zeros in his savings accounts.  So what does she do?

Expensive Name Brand Suits+Gasoline+Expensive Car+Angry Black Woman's Cigarette=Fire From Hell.

Well let me get to the point of this blog.  I was over at Up 4 Discussion and they had a blog about whether or not you'd seek revenge on someone who wronged you.  Of course when I read it my mind screamed, "Revenge!" but then I remembered a conversation I had at dinner yesterday with my friend.

You can seek revenge on a person and think that it will make you feel better, but in reality it's not.  After you seek revenge you're immediately going to wonder if the person has discovered what you did.  If they don't call you personally, you'll start going around asking people how they reacted.  Basically you're still stressing yourself out for this person which is going to lay heavy on your heart.  You're going to be constantly ringing a bell about the situation telling people what you did to his/her butt, but it's really not helping.

I've been wronged, not by someone I dated, but someone I once wanted to date.  Well in my opinion I was wronged.  I remember I was talking a guy back in high school.  My aunt had introduced me to him, and being that I was only 17 I became a little infatuated with him.  We talked for a few weeks, but then as the weeks passed by I would call and he wouldn't call me back.  Now I was stupid back then so when he did call back he'd have some lame excuses, "Oh, I got two other jobs now."  When I look back on it I was beyond stupid, but I was young.  The last conversation I had with him back in 2007 was on July 4th.  I think I hadn't heard from him in a month and when he called he told me he was moving to Atlanta to attend Devry University, but he would call me back when he got back in town.  I hung up and deleted his number right then.  In my opinion this guy could have just told me that he had no interest in me, but for some reason he wanted to make me think there was a chance of some romance kindling.  

I told myself that if I ever saw him I would snap on him.  Luckily I never did because I would have gave him one hell of a go-to-hell-glare.  Even after we became friends on Facebook I still hated him, and to be honest I only sent him a friend request so he could see how happy I was with my boyfriend.  We would talk every blue moon on Facebook chat and I always had to throw something in about my boyfriend, but soon that grew old in my opinion.  I just had to realize that what happened, happened for a reason.  A good one I would like to add.  Had I got with him back then I know for a fact that we wouldn't be together still.  I know that it would have been one of those relationships that ended horribly due to me not being mature enough (we were three years apart) where I never wanted to talk to him again.  It would probably result in me hating men for a brief period and wanting all of them to go to hell.  Had it not been for this incident I wouldn't be with the person I've been with for 2 years.  A person who loves me for me.

All in all, revenge is for little kids.  I'm 20 years old.  Even if I spray paint your car with some profanities it's not going to remove the pain in my heart.  You just have to remember everything happens for a reason and something good came out of it.