These two words have the ability to make a Soldier, Air Man, Sailor or even a Marine cry. They're simple words, far from complex, but they have so much meaning behind them.
This weekend I finally decided to purchase Dear John by Nicholas Sparks. It's the story of a Soldier and the woman who came into his life and broke his heart. I had heard of the book prior to the movie coming out due to my boyfriend joining the Marine Corps during our senior year in high school and many military girlfriends from online groups recommended this book as something to read. I blew it off and never bought the book back in 2008, I personally felt no need to. I didn't see how it would help me get through his 13 weeks of boot camp, so I had no clue as to why it would be recommended. I felt like it was just a subject that I never would experience. I'd tell myself, "I'm never going to write my boyfriend a 'Dear John' letter."
As the movie premiere slowly approached I decided that this was a movie were I had to read the book before I saw it. I opened the book with expectations. I knew a boy would meet a girl and fall in love, but I tried not to hold that against the story. In the end the story ended up touching me.
Being in a relationship with a man in the military is no easy task. Some people think it's no different than being in a long distance relationship, but it's far from the same. There's not a day that goes by when I worry would could happen to my boyfriend. "Will they station him in California? Will they station him in JAPAN? Will he call me today to tell me he's deploying to Afghanistan?" Sure, it's hard to have the one you love live two states away from you, but can you imagine the pressure created when they live across the ocean? That is something that many people can't envision and it's something that I couldn't dare dream of growing up.
Unlike Savannah I didn't meet my boyfriend on a beach after he saved my purse from being swept into the ocean. No, we met at school. While Savannah got into a relationship with a man she knew was in the military, I got in a relationship thinking I would have a normal relationship. You know, the type where we graduate, head to college and make the occasional road trip with friends to see each other? Well my boyfriend didn't seem to want a "normal" relationship because he ran off and joined the military a week after we had a bad argument. No, he didn't join because of the argument, he was actually thinking of doing it prior to that. I remember the call clearly and I remember wanting to cry due to a mixture of hating him for this decision without considering my feelings, but at the same time I couldn't imagine being separated. Besides having a deep love for someone, this was the only thing I had in common with Savannah. When it came time for John to depart back to Germany after his leave with her she cried, and at that moment as cliché as it sounds I connected to with her.
I won't tell the whole story, but there are parts of it that should make women in regular long-distance relationships question whether or not what they're going through is quite that bad. I think many people may think Savannah only cries because John is returning to Germany, but it's so much deeper than that. Can you imagine your boyfriend moving this far away from you if you live in the States? Can you imagine going an entire year without seeing him? To make matters worse the military likes to surprise people and although some surprises are good, most of the military's are bad in my opinion. Although I'm not sure Savannah knew much about the military there are chances that leave (basically vacation time) can be denied even after it's been approved. Another surprise relates to the questions that have gone through my head since my boyfriend joined. You never know where they're going to be sent, when it's going to happen, and how long it will last. I have yet to deal with a deployment. It's something that I don't want to think about, but I have to.
When Savannah wrote her Dear John letter I despised her, but I could understand her decision. She met John and spent two weeks with him before he left. He promised that they would get married when he got out of the military the following year. They managed to see each other another two weeks and as time grew close for him to get discharged tragedy struck. He ended up joining for an additional two years and this is what killed the relationship. Savannah had already told him that she could not imagine marrying him while he was still moving around, but duty called. Her mind understood why, but her heart just couldn't fathom the idea of spending another two years without him minus the sporadic two weeks of leave. You can build a relationship with someone you barely knew from the beginning and expect it to continue off of four weeks of seeing each other in person. We as people need to be shown love, it helps build a strong foundation for our future. If you're only being told 50 out of 52 weeks it can be hard, and you slowly begin to feel foolish for thinking that you could make it work.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this post to be honest, they're just thoughts that occurred to me as I read the book, but hopefully someone understands.
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